I am Fallible

Harper started soccer again. The nights he practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:30, which are my nights with him. I work until 5:30. I cannot possibly take him, so his dad does. I was frustrated about it at first, but I decided it was dumb to feel that way. Harper is doing something he wants to do. It's athletic, and it gets him into a team, being social, and active. So as quickly as I was annoyed, I just as quickly let it go. Harper noticed it in my tone when we talked about it. "Are you upset that soccer practice is on your night? I don't have to play." I've always believed in being as honest as I can with him. Telling him how I feel, and why. I think it will help him communicate better. So I told him, "NO! You should play. It will be fun! You'll enjoy it. I was upset at first, because it's on my night, but I'm not anymore. I think it's a good thing, regardless of who's night it falls on." Weather permitting, soccer practice will resume next week.

We were in the kitchen Tuesday night, and he'd had a snow day, so no soccer practice. He said "I have homework to do." I was immediately irritated. "You had a snow day. You were home with dad ALL day, doing super fun stuff. Why do you have homework to do?" God love that kid, he started to cry. Quietly. I didn't know it at first, because I was cooking, and my back was turned. When I realized he was crying, I knew I had said something wrong. I wrapped my arms around him, and asked him to tell me what was bothering him. He didn't want to tell me. I finally coaxed it out of him. "I know I could have done it at dad's, but I like when YOU help me with my homework." My heart was crushed and warmed at the same time. I had inadvertently hurt his feelings, because I didn't know that in his mind, it *is* our quality time when I help him with his homework. It gives me a whole new appreciation for those moments. Now I know when we're arguing with each other over how to spell "apologize" or raising our voices because he KNOWS 24 times 3 is 92 and he won't listen to me explain why it's NOT... those are the times he cherishes. It makes me laugh just to think about it.

Goals (Mine, Not His)

I haven't posted in years. Literally. More than one. I think part of the distraction from a blog is Facebook. Well, I deactivated my Facebook account, so here I am. We'll see how long it will last. I know better than to make promises of daily, or even weekly posts. Maybe I'll do it when I remember I actually have a blog. Or when Harper does something that I can no longer post on Facebook. That seems more likely. The draw of FB is the instant feedback. The likes, the comments. You know you've been heard. Your child's witty remarks or behavior has been documented. Your fears or joys have been justified.

 I feel like there's a lot going on. I got a new job. I'm in school (still). I'm redecorating the house. Harper is in the fourth grade. He turns 10 (TEN!!!) next week. He's learning the violin. He starts soccer tonight. He won the school spelling bee, so he will compete in regionals on March 7th.

I updated the layout. I deleted, added and edited some links. Let's see how this goes.