I am Fallible

Harper started soccer again. The nights he practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:30, which are my nights with him. I work until 5:30. I cannot possibly take him, so his dad does. I was frustrated about it at first, but I decided it was dumb to feel that way. Harper is doing something he wants to do. It's athletic, and it gets him into a team, being social, and active. So as quickly as I was annoyed, I just as quickly let it go. Harper noticed it in my tone when we talked about it. "Are you upset that soccer practice is on your night? I don't have to play." I've always believed in being as honest as I can with him. Telling him how I feel, and why. I think it will help him communicate better. So I told him, "NO! You should play. It will be fun! You'll enjoy it. I was upset at first, because it's on my night, but I'm not anymore. I think it's a good thing, regardless of who's night it falls on." Weather permitting, soccer practice will resume next week.

We were in the kitchen Tuesday night, and he'd had a snow day, so no soccer practice. He said "I have homework to do." I was immediately irritated. "You had a snow day. You were home with dad ALL day, doing super fun stuff. Why do you have homework to do?" God love that kid, he started to cry. Quietly. I didn't know it at first, because I was cooking, and my back was turned. When I realized he was crying, I knew I had said something wrong. I wrapped my arms around him, and asked him to tell me what was bothering him. He didn't want to tell me. I finally coaxed it out of him. "I know I could have done it at dad's, but I like when YOU help me with my homework." My heart was crushed and warmed at the same time. I had inadvertently hurt his feelings, because I didn't know that in his mind, it *is* our quality time when I help him with his homework. It gives me a whole new appreciation for those moments. Now I know when we're arguing with each other over how to spell "apologize" or raising our voices because he KNOWS 24 times 3 is 92 and he won't listen to me explain why it's NOT... those are the times he cherishes. It makes me laugh just to think about it.