So Embarrassing

Since hardly anyone reads this, I thought I'd post this video here before I make it public on my channel. It's embarrassing. It was meant to be a test run, but I feel like if I try to run through the content again, it'll sound scripted. I'm a mess in it. Wearing my painting clothes, zit cream on my forehead. But hey! Reality. So check it out. Is this something I should actually consider doing? VLOGGING on YouTube? Let me know what you think.

Editor-in-Chief

Harper J is a voracious reader. He inhales books. Presently, he's addicted to the Warriors series by Erin Hunter. This is his Harry Potter, and there are WAY more than seven books. There are five sub-series, and several stand-alone books. He's halfway through the third series.

A couple of months ago, he was reading and found an error. Not spelling or grammatical, but one of the names was wrong. As the cats in the books grow in the clans, their names change. He noticed that one of the names had reverted to the cat's former name. I told him he should email the Editor, so it could be corrected in future prints. We emailed him from my account (since I check my email more frequently than he does), and we heard back from the editor a few days later:

It was so exciting! Harper immediately started looking for (and finding) other errors. I told him the free book was probably a one-shot deal, but he could email the editor from his own account and give it a go. 

His book came in the mail this week:

At the rate he reads these books with distractions like school, and soccer, I calculate he'll finish almost all of the books over summer break.

Completely Unrelated

The first half of last year, I was an exercise fiend. I worked out every day during my lunch break. Then we went to New York, and shortly after, I went to Europe. Then school started. I just haven't had time to get back to the gym. Now I work 7:30-5:30 and do homework during my lunch break, so that when I'm home, I'm present with my kid. When he isn't home, I'm painting. (Because I decided this is the year to redecorate the house.)

Now it's been ten months since I was exercising regularly, and I'm feeling it. I'm tired. I'm achy. I haven't gained any weight, but I feel gross. I have friends who work out, and I'm genuinely jealous. I want to be fit again. I want to wear shorts and fit into those jeans and be confident in tank tops. But when I have time to actually work out for a few minutes on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, I don't wanna. I'm tired. But I'm more tired of looking at pics of tiny women and coveting their size sixes.

Here's the thing: I've overcome so much of what was laid upon me. My parents didn't go to college. I have an Associates, and I'm working toward my Bachelors. Mold: broken. My mom was an alcoholic. I refuse to succumb. I would get so frustrated with her when she would complain about being overweight, but she wouldn't even go on walks. I do NOT want to be that way. So... I have to change my way of thinking. Maybe look at it as an act of rebellion. I'm 40, but a girl still has to go against some kind of flow.

So I'm contemplating joining this Fit Girl Challenge (blog link to the right). I started it in January, but didn't finish, because I lost motivation. That's kinda my schtick: losing motivation. Especially when it comes to working out. But I can do this. Right? I mean... even if I just go on walks, and work out for 15 minutes a day. Start SOMEWHERE. Geez, woman. I also signed up for DailyBurn. They have a ton of different videos with different times on them. I could pick one that's 15 minutes, or one that's 60, if I have time.

The challenge starts April 20th. It's called the #28dayjumpstart. Honestly, I should have done three of these by now, and I should be on the bikini challenge. Oh well. Start somewhere. Start now. I can do this.

I guess the contemplation is over.

This Is How We Do

Harper and I have very stimulating conversations.

Last night it was:

H: Thanks for popping my pimples.
Me: You're welcome. I've always kind of enjoyed that. Weird... I know.
H: Is that how you hurt people?
Me: Are you calling me a sadist?
H: ...

This morning:

H: Guess what?
Me: You built a spaceship and you're going to Mars?
H: Mommmmm

a few minutes later:

H: Know what stinks?
Me: Poop?
H: Ugh. Mom!

and finally:

H: Know what kinda sucks?
Me: A teeny tiny vampire?
H: Mom! You're supposed to say, "What?"
Me: Oh. What?
H: ... Ugh... I can't even remember now.


And that's how we do. Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of times that he's the one dishing it out. This just happened to be my turn. Also, it really aggravates him when I answer his intro question. And what's the point of having a kid, if you can't aggravate them?

April Showers

Somehow I managed to miss March. I mean, it's not like I skipped three years, but still. I wanted to get back into this, and I'm already slacking. I don't see how. With school (mine and Harper's), work, painting the house... I have SO much free time!

Harper turned ten last month. TEN. I gave him a few little gifts on the days leading up to his birthday, and saved the big one for his actual big day. He had no idea. Our Wii had died a couple of months prior, and I told him it was just poor luck. I couldn't afford a Wii U. Well, I bought one with my tax return. I had a bit of buyer's remorse (those things aren't cheap), but let me tell you... he opened that box, and as soon as he knew what it was, he literally screamed and jumped into my arms! I thought I would burst with joy at his reaction. He's been asking for one since they came out, and I've always said no. I wish every gift would merit that response.

He's had two soccer games so far. They've lost both of them, but he doesn't care. He has so much fun when he plays! He and the goalie were named the MVPs at the last game, and the other kids had to apologize for not pulling their own weight. Look at that boy connect with the ball!

Do you ever have times where you feel like you can't get on the same page and connect with your kid, though? Man. We've been having one of those moments for the last week. No matter what I say or do, it's wrong. I'm not sensitive enough to his needs. I'm too sensitive to my own. I'm sure it will balance out eventually, but it sure is hard in the moment.

Parenting is not for the weak.

I am Fallible

Harper started soccer again. The nights he practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:30, which are my nights with him. I work until 5:30. I cannot possibly take him, so his dad does. I was frustrated about it at first, but I decided it was dumb to feel that way. Harper is doing something he wants to do. It's athletic, and it gets him into a team, being social, and active. So as quickly as I was annoyed, I just as quickly let it go. Harper noticed it in my tone when we talked about it. "Are you upset that soccer practice is on your night? I don't have to play." I've always believed in being as honest as I can with him. Telling him how I feel, and why. I think it will help him communicate better. So I told him, "NO! You should play. It will be fun! You'll enjoy it. I was upset at first, because it's on my night, but I'm not anymore. I think it's a good thing, regardless of who's night it falls on." Weather permitting, soccer practice will resume next week.

We were in the kitchen Tuesday night, and he'd had a snow day, so no soccer practice. He said "I have homework to do." I was immediately irritated. "You had a snow day. You were home with dad ALL day, doing super fun stuff. Why do you have homework to do?" God love that kid, he started to cry. Quietly. I didn't know it at first, because I was cooking, and my back was turned. When I realized he was crying, I knew I had said something wrong. I wrapped my arms around him, and asked him to tell me what was bothering him. He didn't want to tell me. I finally coaxed it out of him. "I know I could have done it at dad's, but I like when YOU help me with my homework." My heart was crushed and warmed at the same time. I had inadvertently hurt his feelings, because I didn't know that in his mind, it *is* our quality time when I help him with his homework. It gives me a whole new appreciation for those moments. Now I know when we're arguing with each other over how to spell "apologize" or raising our voices because he KNOWS 24 times 3 is 92 and he won't listen to me explain why it's NOT... those are the times he cherishes. It makes me laugh just to think about it.

Goals (Mine, Not His)

I haven't posted in years. Literally. More than one. I think part of the distraction from a blog is Facebook. Well, I deactivated my Facebook account, so here I am. We'll see how long it will last. I know better than to make promises of daily, or even weekly posts. Maybe I'll do it when I remember I actually have a blog. Or when Harper does something that I can no longer post on Facebook. That seems more likely. The draw of FB is the instant feedback. The likes, the comments. You know you've been heard. Your child's witty remarks or behavior has been documented. Your fears or joys have been justified.

 I feel like there's a lot going on. I got a new job. I'm in school (still). I'm redecorating the house. Harper is in the fourth grade. He turns 10 (TEN!!!) next week. He's learning the violin. He starts soccer tonight. He won the school spelling bee, so he will compete in regionals on March 7th.

I updated the layout. I deleted, added and edited some links. Let's see how this goes.